stefan
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Eloy. đ eth0
eloy@hsnl.social
inspired on a different post, I made an improved version
svg: http://ftp.ol-tele.com/~eloy/stickers/badapple.svg
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stefan
stefan
ramblings about queerness, gender and attractedness (about me)
Show content
This past weekend just showed me that the queer-community is so awesome 
I mean there is still stuff I need to wrap my head around and really need to nail down to not misgender people (accidentily I know its bad it just happens cause brain is dumb... ). I am working on that front.
You know sometimes I do feel like an imposter or something that should not fit in here. Feeling not "queer enough". I know thats bullshit but sometimes that thought still happens.
But what I really love about the queer-community, that I should see myself as a part of already, is how honest and open people in it talk about themselves.
Be it about mental health (we all know the brainworms), gender (expression) or attractedness to other beings. The queers talk about stuff so openly how " normal" people never would do. And I think that is great. That might fix quite some problems if anyone could talk so openly about themselves.
I got to talk to a non-binary person from my tabletop-group yesterday. Had them explain some stuff to me about gender identity, gender expression as well as physical and emotional attractedness.
The gender identity and gender expression stuff is quite easy for me now as looking into myself because of the crossdressing made that clear to me.
I identify as as a male individual for sure (which does corrospond to my sex at birth as well). And I will express myself in a masculine way. The way I give myself and express myself also does not change all that whether I wear my normal male or the fem clothes. I just think of myself as more attractive and cute in fem stuff. So I guess it does atleast help me with being more confident lol.
Now with the attractedness stuff things get more complicated to me. Like I can clearly tell you I am physically attracted to women. I dunno about the rest tbh. Like looking at men physically does not do it for me.
Though there is some stuff that pops into my head when it comes to sexual stuff (I really dunno if thats the right word here lol)
I do have trouble to express these feelings into words for you atm. Like I wanna feel desired and taken care for. I dunno how much I would care for if the person is male female, something else or nothing else.
Emotionally I could likely attach to anything that gives me a feeling of being seen, being valid and okay just the way I am. Someone that helps me out in difficult situations, helps me grow but also someone I can give something back to aswell.
I generally also seem have more problems to converse eith women than men. And people like rick for example make me really feel safe with them. I can totally be myself, talk about my passions with him and don't get judged for it. I really like spending time with people like him. Just wanting me to be my best.
I also feel I can be more open with men kinda. Maybe cause I did never converse with women all that well I dunno.
I think could attach to various people emotionally I am treated like I said above. Yet physical attraction is limited to women.
And then there is some fetish stuff which adds even more weirdness to the mix. So I am kinda lost a little bit on that front.
So I am attracted to women only but could emotionally attach to anyone likely that treats me right? What a weird combination.
Well I guess the musings on that stuff will continue in my head lol.
I mean there is still stuff I need to wrap my head around and really need to nail down to not misgender people (accidentily I know its bad it just happens cause brain is dumb... ). I am working on that front.
You know sometimes I do feel like an imposter or something that should not fit in here. Feeling not "queer enough". I know thats bullshit but sometimes that thought still happens.
But what I really love about the queer-community, that I should see myself as a part of already, is how honest and open people in it talk about themselves.
Be it about mental health (we all know the brainworms), gender (expression) or attractedness to other beings. The queers talk about stuff so openly how " normal" people never would do. And I think that is great. That might fix quite some problems if anyone could talk so openly about themselves.
I got to talk to a non-binary person from my tabletop-group yesterday. Had them explain some stuff to me about gender identity, gender expression as well as physical and emotional attractedness.
The gender identity and gender expression stuff is quite easy for me now as looking into myself because of the crossdressing made that clear to me.
I identify as as a male individual for sure (which does corrospond to my sex at birth as well). And I will express myself in a masculine way. The way I give myself and express myself also does not change all that whether I wear my normal male or the fem clothes. I just think of myself as more attractive and cute in fem stuff. So I guess it does atleast help me with being more confident lol.
Now with the attractedness stuff things get more complicated to me. Like I can clearly tell you I am physically attracted to women. I dunno about the rest tbh. Like looking at men physically does not do it for me.
Though there is some stuff that pops into my head when it comes to sexual stuff (I really dunno if thats the right word here lol)
I do have trouble to express these feelings into words for you atm. Like I wanna feel desired and taken care for. I dunno how much I would care for if the person is male female, something else or nothing else.
Emotionally I could likely attach to anything that gives me a feeling of being seen, being valid and okay just the way I am. Someone that helps me out in difficult situations, helps me grow but also someone I can give something back to aswell.
I generally also seem have more problems to converse eith women than men. And people like rick for example make me really feel safe with them. I can totally be myself, talk about my passions with him and don't get judged for it. I really like spending time with people like him. Just wanting me to be my best.
I also feel I can be more open with men kinda. Maybe cause I did never converse with women all that well I dunno.
I think could attach to various people emotionally I am treated like I said above. Yet physical attraction is limited to women.
And then there is some fetish stuff which adds even more weirdness to the mix. So I am kinda lost a little bit on that front.
So I am attracted to women only but could emotionally attach to anyone likely that treats me right? What a weird combination.
Well I guess the musings on that stuff will continue in my head lol.
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stefan
stefan
ramblings about queerness, gender and attractedness (about me)
Show content
This past weekend just showed me that the queer-community is so awesome
I mean there is still stuff I need to wrap my head around and really need to nail down to not misgender people (accidentily I know its bad it just happens cause brain is dumb... ). I am working on that front.
You know sometimes I do feel like an imposter or something that should not fit in here. Feeling not "queer enough". I know thats bullshit but sometimes that thought still happens.
But what I really love about the queer-community, that I should see myself as a part of already, is how honest and open people in it talk about themselves.
Be it about mental health (we all know the brainworms), gender (expression) or attractedness to other beings. The queers talk about stuff so openly how " normal" people never would do. And I think that is great. That might fix quite some problems if anyone could talk so openly about themselves.
I got to talk to a non-binary person from my tabletop-group yesterday. Had them explain some stuff to me about gender identity, gender expression as well as physical and emotional attractedness.
The gender identity and gender expression stuff is quite easy for me now as looking into myself because of the crossdressing made that clear to me.
I identify as as a male individual for sure (which does corrospond to my sex at birth as well). And I will express myself in a masculine way. The way I give myself and express myself also does not change all that whether I wear my normal male or the fem clothes. I just think of myself as more attractive and cute in fem stuff. So I guess it does atleast help me with being more confident lol.
Now with the attractedness stuff things get more complicated to me. Like I can clearly tell you I am physically attracted to women. I dunno about the rest tbh. Like looking at men physically does not do it for me.
Though there is some stuff that pops into my head when it comes to sexual stuff (I really dunno if thats the right word here lol)
I do have trouble to express these feelings into words for you atm. Like I wanna feel desired and taken care for. I dunno how much I would care for if the person is male female, something else or nothing else.
Emotionally I could likely attach to anything that gives me a feeling of being seen, being valid and okay just the way I am. Someone that helps me out in difficult situations, helps me grow but also someone I can give something back to aswell.
I generally also seem have more problems to converse eith women than men. And people like rick for example make me really feel safe with them. I can totally be myself, talk about my passions with him and don't get judged for it. I really like spending time with people like him. Just wanting me to be my best.
I also feel I can be more open with men kinda. Maybe cause I did never converse with women all that well I dunno.
I think could attach to various people emotionally I am treated like I said above. Yet physical attraction is limited to women.
And then there is some fetish stuff which adds even more weirdness to the mix. So I am kinda lost a little bit on that front.
So I am attracted to women only but could emotionally attach to anyone likely that treats me right? What a weird combination.
Well I guess the musings on that stuff will continue in my head lol.
I mean there is still stuff I need to wrap my head around and really need to nail down to not misgender people (accidentily I know its bad it just happens cause brain is dumb... ). I am working on that front.
You know sometimes I do feel like an imposter or something that should not fit in here. Feeling not "queer enough". I know thats bullshit but sometimes that thought still happens.
But what I really love about the queer-community, that I should see myself as a part of already, is how honest and open people in it talk about themselves.
Be it about mental health (we all know the brainworms), gender (expression) or attractedness to other beings. The queers talk about stuff so openly how " normal" people never would do. And I think that is great. That might fix quite some problems if anyone could talk so openly about themselves.
I got to talk to a non-binary person from my tabletop-group yesterday. Had them explain some stuff to me about gender identity, gender expression as well as physical and emotional attractedness.
The gender identity and gender expression stuff is quite easy for me now as looking into myself because of the crossdressing made that clear to me.
I identify as as a male individual for sure (which does corrospond to my sex at birth as well). And I will express myself in a masculine way. The way I give myself and express myself also does not change all that whether I wear my normal male or the fem clothes. I just think of myself as more attractive and cute in fem stuff. So I guess it does atleast help me with being more confident lol.
Now with the attractedness stuff things get more complicated to me. Like I can clearly tell you I am physically attracted to women. I dunno about the rest tbh. Like looking at men physically does not do it for me.
Though there is some stuff that pops into my head when it comes to sexual stuff (I really dunno if thats the right word here lol)
I do have trouble to express these feelings into words for you atm. Like I wanna feel desired and taken care for. I dunno how much I would care for if the person is male female, something else or nothing else.
Emotionally I could likely attach to anything that gives me a feeling of being seen, being valid and okay just the way I am. Someone that helps me out in difficult situations, helps me grow but also someone I can give something back to aswell.
I generally also seem have more problems to converse eith women than men. And people like rick for example make me really feel safe with them. I can totally be myself, talk about my passions with him and don't get judged for it. I really like spending time with people like him. Just wanting me to be my best.
I also feel I can be more open with men kinda. Maybe cause I did never converse with women all that well I dunno.
I think could attach to various people emotionally I am treated like I said above. Yet physical attraction is limited to women.
And then there is some fetish stuff which adds even more weirdness to the mix. So I am kinda lost a little bit on that front.
So I am attracted to women only but could emotionally attach to anyone likely that treats me right? What a weird combination.
Well I guess the musings on that stuff will continue in my head lol.
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stefan
stefan
Man findet doch immer wieder coole Sachen heraus. Heute ist nicht nur der erste CSD in meinem Landkreis Emmendingen statt, sondern in Wacken (ja DAS wacken allerdings hat der Veranstalter vom Open Air nix damit zu tun)
Ganz viel Liebe geht raus an die Metal-Heads im hohen Norden.
https://www.queer.de/detail.php?article_id=55191
#CSD
Ganz viel Liebe geht raus an die Metal-Heads im hohen Norden.
https://www.queer.de/detail.php?article_id=55191
#CSD
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ăăŚ( đŽdev arc)
bahi0u@mk.absturztau.beHereâs my first part for the September #fedizine
Behold⌠Milf Plemora-tan
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morph
morph@chaos.socialLinux admins when they have to use Windows: :/
Windows admins when they have to use Linux: :\
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stefan
Edited 16 days ago
I kinda could not wait until friday to test out my new demonia boots in the outside world...
So I took a "little" walk outside today. Wasn't perfect weather but it was just spray raining a bit today. The walk was not that little even I was goind around the city for about I think 30-45 min.
Though I had quite a lot of anxiety before going out as well. So I did a anxiety special today. Scarf over the mouth, headphones on and hat.
tbh I wanted to test out the boots and the a bit warmer outfit. I never went anywhere dressed fem during winter, so I had to get a feel on what is good for this weather.
The Outfit consists of the following:
- cycling shorts (I had problems with getting abrasions in the crotch region easily when wearing tights and moving around a lot)
- fleece-layered tights for some warmth
- red tartan mini-skirt.
- long sleeved black t-Shirt
- knitted beige sweater
- "cat-ear" knitted hat
- red scarf
- and of course the Demonia Camel 300 Boots though I did put in some better insoles to make them fit slightly better
(- I specifically did not add my blister-resist-socks and went only on stockings into the boots just to see where the pain-point might arise)
Now to the walk itself:
Stairs will be the bane of my existence in these. Going up the stairs at the end of the walk was absolutely fine. But everyone who wore some heels for some time before knows. Going down stairs in heels is a challenge. I could stumbling down a set of stairs in these puppies lol. They are high and have lots of platform so going down stairs is kinda challenging.
I won't never look graceful going down stairs lol. But just take it slow and steady. But I made it unharmed. Going up stairs certainly was easier xD
Walking around in the boots was very fine tbh. The boots might get heavy with extended wear maybe.
I love how high they are though. I can't go fast in them, taking way smaller steps but it was so much fun. I could likely go through any puddles (as long as they are less than 4cm deep I guess) in these.
Walking itself was good. I strolled through different sidewalks, going up and down, crossing streets going through wonky non-flat streets. I generally felt totally fine walking the streets and sidewalks. I was having fun taking my time.
I was though kinda anxious the whole time.
(I know its unfounded but still...)
Now obviously these boots are still heels after all, so there is caveats, but I think I should manage in them quite good generally. They felt quite comfy for what they are. The wide, square toebox really helps make them comfier for sure.
Not wearing socks in them made me slide around a bit the boots (easily fixed with the blister-resist socks or socks in general).
Now there is some interesting stuff for me to take away:
- The right boot sits really well with the insole. Without socks I will certainly develop blisters over time on the ball of my foot. But I don't slide around too much in this.
- The left one is a bit more ... interesting. I slide way more in that one. Its also my longer foot of the two. I tend to hit the front of the toebox while setting my foot on the ground but only on the left.
MAybe they are too small? I will have too see. Nothing that would be unmanageable tbh (I hope). I may try lacing them again to prevent slippage maybe.
I wil just tag you as you might be interested @Nukumori @alexseifert @ritahayuni @guyinaskirt
#crossdressing
So I took a "little" walk outside today. Wasn't perfect weather but it was just spray raining a bit today. The walk was not that little even I was goind around the city for about I think 30-45 min.
Though I had quite a lot of anxiety before going out as well. So I did a anxiety special today. Scarf over the mouth, headphones on and hat.
tbh I wanted to test out the boots and the a bit warmer outfit. I never went anywhere dressed fem during winter, so I had to get a feel on what is good for this weather.
The Outfit consists of the following:
- cycling shorts (I had problems with getting abrasions in the crotch region easily when wearing tights and moving around a lot)
- fleece-layered tights for some warmth
- red tartan mini-skirt.
- long sleeved black t-Shirt
- knitted beige sweater
- "cat-ear" knitted hat
- red scarf
- and of course the Demonia Camel 300 Boots though I did put in some better insoles to make them fit slightly better
(- I specifically did not add my blister-resist-socks and went only on stockings into the boots just to see where the pain-point might arise)
Now to the walk itself:
Stairs will be the bane of my existence in these. Going up the stairs at the end of the walk was absolutely fine. But everyone who wore some heels for some time before knows. Going down stairs in heels is a challenge. I could stumbling down a set of stairs in these puppies lol. They are high and have lots of platform so going down stairs is kinda challenging.
I won't never look graceful going down stairs lol. But just take it slow and steady. But I made it unharmed. Going up stairs certainly was easier xD
Walking around in the boots was very fine tbh. The boots might get heavy with extended wear maybe.
I love how high they are though. I can't go fast in them, taking way smaller steps but it was so much fun. I could likely go through any puddles (as long as they are less than 4cm deep I guess) in these.
Walking itself was good. I strolled through different sidewalks, going up and down, crossing streets going through wonky non-flat streets. I generally felt totally fine walking the streets and sidewalks. I was having fun taking my time.
I was though kinda anxious the whole time.
(I know its unfounded but still...)Now obviously these boots are still heels after all, so there is caveats, but I think I should manage in them quite good generally. They felt quite comfy for what they are. The wide, square toebox really helps make them comfier for sure.
Not wearing socks in them made me slide around a bit the boots (easily fixed with the blister-resist socks or socks in general).
Now there is some interesting stuff for me to take away:
- The right boot sits really well with the insole. Without socks I will certainly develop blisters over time on the ball of my foot. But I don't slide around too much in this.
- The left one is a bit more ... interesting. I slide way more in that one. Its also my longer foot of the two. I tend to hit the front of the toebox while setting my foot on the ground but only on the left.
MAybe they are too small? I will have too see. Nothing that would be unmanageable tbh (I hope). I may try lacing them again to prevent slippage maybe.
I wil just tag you as you might be interested @Nukumori @alexseifert @ritahayuni @guyinaskirt
#crossdressing
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kagari / NirimaArt
hoshi@troet.cafeAuch wenn mein heutiger Comic eher unbeachtet blieb bisher, mĂśchte ich dennoch das "Tomato Friends" Jubiläum nicht unerwähnt lassen. Mit dem heutigen Comic haben wir sage und schreibe 500 (!!!) Comics erreicht! đł KĂśnnt ihr das glauben? Ich bin selbst sprachlos. Ich danke allen, die die Geschichten der Tomaten mit Favs und Teilen belohnen. đ¤ Ich freu mich, wenn ich wenigstens ein paar Leuten damit eine Freude machen kann. Auf weitere 500 Comics! Ich hoffe auch kĂźnftig auf eure UnterstĂźtzung! 𼺠đ
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Volksverpetzer
Volksverpetzer@digitalcourage.socialIm sächsischen Neschwitz stand nur ein Kandidat auf dem Zettel zur BĂźrgermeisterwahl â ein AfD-Sympathisant. Und er konnte nicht gewinnen. Wie demokratischer Widerstand auch aussehen kann. https://www.volksverpetzer.de/aktuelles/neschwitz-verliert-wahl/?utm_source=mstdn
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pipi Aje 
trashguts@goblin.camp
every time i come home she just sits there and stares at me like she's never seen a human person before in her life and she can't process what she's looking at
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Johann Sebastian Staedtler đ¨đŚ
jsstaedtler@mastodon.artI attended a meetup in Toronto last night for drawing & sketching, and the theme was Autumn Bingo: draw a fall scene, after which the organizers call out a series of things and you count how many of them you managed to put in your drawing.
I did not have enough time to pack mine full of *everything* and I only got 2 points đ (I had leaves and a squirrel, but I was missing apples, acorns, and a scarecrow)
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aetios đ eth0 
aetios@sns.minovsky.space
More beep boop experiments
This is a super simple 6 step sequence with a pedal tone but I accidentally had the 2nd step disabled and it sounds fire
This is a super simple 6 step sequence with a pedal tone but I accidentally had the 2nd step disabled and it sounds fire
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Volksverpetzer
Volksverpetzer@digitalcourage.socialWenn manche âLinkeâ aufhĂśren sollen, Konservative als âfaschistischâ oder ârechtsextremâ zu diffamieren, sollten Konservative vielleicht auch aufhĂśren, Rechtsextreme und Faschisten ständig als âkonservativâ zu verharmlosen.
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stefan
stefan
Now that mastodon has quote posts (in some form). Lets move goalposts. Emoji-Reacts when?
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