@guyinaskirt Yeah, you know I feel like I made some good progress in terms of crossdressing in the last year or so.
Coming to some friends, my sister and my mom made a lot of things so much easier for me. Though I do still struggle with other things still. But I guess I am getting there slowly.
I am way more open about my crossdressing by now (to the right people obvs. I would rather die than tell my brother or my father about it)
I guess it also helps I am living near a very left-leaning city, where people generally care less about this stuff. There is also some opportunity to go somewhere like I want to.
I was at work in a rather bold outfit this week (still obvs SFW but surely something you would sort into the "alternative" spectrum of clothing. Will send you a photo via DM after this.
I think its good that I don't really play a "character" when crossdressing. I am still me. Just more confident and a bit bold. Also getting to talk about the fashion IRL sometimes is fun for sure
But also there is always kinda two "spirits" fighting in my head every time I want to go out somewhere like this.
One is telling me "Oh I look so good, I am happy, I want to seen being this cute by others" (the happy, bold and confident me)
The other one is filled with anxiety more be like: "What if I get into trouble looking like this and going out alone?" (the self-preserving, anxious ajd introverted me)
I am always kinda anxious on my way to something. But some headphones, a scarf and not looking at people does help me cope (yeah like who am I kidding lol, I can't in that outfit being this "out there")
Mostly the second me will win when I am out alone and not at my destination. Once I arrive I will realize all is not too bad and confident me takes over lol.
Going out with someone I can trust helps me a lot so I can be confident me all the time, as I feel safe.
I guess this will getter with time as did the other things. Like Posting photos of myself dressed and talk about it casually. Thats all no problem by now. Also buying stuff from other people online (used) was used to filling me with so much anxiety. But today I will confidently do it.
Going out into the real world is a wholly different ordeal. Lets hope I can get to a point where I not sleep bad because I wanted to go somewhere dressed how I want lol.