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I kinda realised today im like getting better
i remember my mom relentlessly shaming me, intentionally roughhandling my hair when detangling it because she never showed me how to properly take care of it
i learned it myself now, in a new gentle way and i helped someone else untangle their very tangled hair today
the just, not sexual but kinda intimate in a platonic sense, sharing my own scar spot but in a soft way, passing on kindness instead of more roughness
i think we need this kinda shit more, getting into that excelling at taking care of each other like noone else cares to, like noone else can, i dont think most people even give a shit how much it hurts to do shit like forcefully pull hair knots apart instead of taking the time and effort to slowly detangle them so you keep more too
admittedly ive got curly hair and straight hair is a lot easier to work too so...
i remember my mom relentlessly shaming me, intentionally roughhandling my hair when detangling it because she never showed me how to properly take care of it
i learned it myself now, in a new gentle way and i helped someone else untangle their very tangled hair today
the just, not sexual but kinda intimate in a platonic sense, sharing my own scar spot but in a soft way, passing on kindness instead of more roughness
i think we need this kinda shit more, getting into that excelling at taking care of each other like noone else cares to, like noone else can, i dont think most people even give a shit how much it hurts to do shit like forcefully pull hair knots apart instead of taking the time and effort to slowly detangle them so you keep more too
admittedly ive got curly hair and straight hair is a lot easier to work too so...
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Anyways, post less, care for each other more, most of the time all we have is each other in our communities
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@desea This also is Yuri! But good job desea! 
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unprompted curly hair advice, somewhat vibe incompatible with the original post
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@desea so, I've got really really curly hair, and yeah, can relate to having it yanked into with a brush by parents, it's probably the reason I flinch when anyone goes to touch my hair, anyway
I've found that detangling in the shower is the best option overall, at least for my hair type, wet and soft makes it much easier to avoid damage and to untangle the hair correctly, after-shower care with oil to keep the hair moist and avoid damage (and avoiding using heat and stuff) can help avoid split ends (which are the largest cause of tangle and knots in curly hair)
also cutting off any split or damaged ends and getting trims fairly regularly helps majorly with keeping things manageable, easy to detangle and soft
also after showers pressing dry with the towel instead of rubbing dry makes a bigger difference than you'd imagine
for hair oil (or oil-replacement products) I find "heavier" ones keep my hair in particular a lot more comfortable, so shea butter, coconut oil, etc tend to work best for me, I've also found a few oil-replacement creams that work pretty well (mostly from pantene) for my hair
though simply buying a large amount of deoderized shea butter was fantastic, it works very well, has minimal smell, is pretty cheap if you can find it at a "DIY beuty supply" type store, and doesn't feel oily at all after you put it on (because it solidifies at room temp, to apply it you rub it between your hands to melt it with friction)
so, uh, yes, hair care,
in the same way that caring for each other is important, caring for one's hair is too, because it makes things more comfortable
I've found that detangling in the shower is the best option overall, at least for my hair type, wet and soft makes it much easier to avoid damage and to untangle the hair correctly, after-shower care with oil to keep the hair moist and avoid damage (and avoiding using heat and stuff) can help avoid split ends (which are the largest cause of tangle and knots in curly hair)
also cutting off any split or damaged ends and getting trims fairly regularly helps majorly with keeping things manageable, easy to detangle and soft
also after showers pressing dry with the towel instead of rubbing dry makes a bigger difference than you'd imagine
for hair oil (or oil-replacement products) I find "heavier" ones keep my hair in particular a lot more comfortable, so shea butter, coconut oil, etc tend to work best for me, I've also found a few oil-replacement creams that work pretty well (mostly from pantene) for my hair
though simply buying a large amount of deoderized shea butter was fantastic, it works very well, has minimal smell, is pretty cheap if you can find it at a "DIY beuty supply" type store, and doesn't feel oily at all after you put it on (because it solidifies at room temp, to apply it you rub it between your hands to melt it with friction)
so, uh, yes, hair care,
in the same way that caring for each other is important, caring for one's hair is too, because it makes things more comfortable
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@Clover yeah, i rlly wanna get better abt oiling it up afterwards, thx tho
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